Who am I….
Happy International Women’s Day
On this celebrated day I would like to take this opportunity to introduce myself. I am Charlotte a thirty seven year old mum of two young girls; respectively five and one years old.
I would describe myself as an over thinker, recovering perfectionist, with an inner critic that has finally been silenced.
Friends and clients would describe me as energetic, honest, a great listener, deep thinker, in tune with who I am and knowing what I want.
This has not always been the case. From an early age I always endeavoured to work hard. Subsequently, I put myself under immense pressure to be the good girl and a high achiever. An early primary school memory is of a teacher ripping up my work and saying it was not good enough. Therefore, from then on, I wanted to prove that narrative wrong.
My teen years are a bit of a blur. Academia took over and getting good grades became my focus and goal.
I took this narrative to university. I certainly had fun but the inner critic often took over. Consequently, hard work dominated as I inevitably lived in fear of underachieving or failing.
After university I joined a global media domain in a HR role and excelled. I travelled the world; integrating new teams and supporting a diversity of senior leaders. For several years I loved what I was doing. My focus was to help leaders to reach their full potential in the delivery of their roles and motivation of their workforce.
After a succession of promotions, I found myself managing increasingly larger teams and subsequently I found myself in a senior leadership role by the age of thirty. From the outside I looked like I had it all; great job, travelling the world and frequently larger projects.
However, there came a point that the more senior I got, the lonelier I found myself and I lost sense of my purpose. My busy work life took over. I was jumping from one project to the next; losing sight of what I enjoyed and the impact I was having.
Fortunately, on reflection, I consider myself to be lucky. At this pivotal time in my career I worked for an inspirational boss who introduced me to my first work coach. This was a progressive step for me. I felt, at last, that I had a platform to be sincerely heard and as a result was able to analyse myself and therefore able to evaluate what I genuinely wanted from life. She empowered me to both uncover my underlying fears and taught me relevant techniques to silence my life long inner critic; the voice of failure. As a result I felt more in control.
My world continued to evolve. With the arrival of my baby daughter my life became more complexed but greatly enriched with the onset of motherhood in the working world. On returning to work I was promoted to a broader role. I experienced, very quickly, that the patterns I had previously put in place to support me, no long served me. With a more complex work schedule and demands of being a mum I felt guilty having to travel for work and consequently having to be away from my baby daughter. My inner critic had resurfaced. I once again felt overwhelmed with the demands of my work life balance. I felt stuck.
Another life experience that made an impact on me was after returning from one particularly intense work trip. A wise friend and coach took me for a drink and said… this is not how it has to be. For the first time in months I felt someone recognised how overwhelmed I had become with what I was tasked with. She reminded me I had choices and options, some of which I may not have recognised. This remains with me.
In typical Charlotte style, (deep thinker) I reflected for a few weeks and reminded myself of the tools and impact of my coach.
Wow, what a journey it has been. I met the most incredible coach and consequently embarked on a coaching accreditation to train as a coach myself. From then the profound work really began. Through the journey of exploration and development I unearthed and unpicked obstructive stories I owned about myself. For the first time I was truly honest in terms of what I really wanted from life and the work I wanted to be doing. I questioned what really interested me and evaluated my strengths as a coach. Therefore, I utilise my superpowers to be; honest, brave, confident, fiery, thoughtful and most importantly to trust the decisions I make in life. Ultimately to embrace what makes me, Me.
So how has my life changed and what do I uphold to embrace my new narrative?
- Challenge the overthinking – I meet regularly with my own coach to challenge and explore the questions that I am asking of myself. Having a safe space to be heard allows for more peace and quiet in my mind.
- Protect my boundaries – We each only have so much energy. I really tune into what feels good and in contrast what drains me. I have learned to say “no” politely when something doesn’t serve what I need.
- Ask for help – I now appreciate the meaning of community. My echo system works with the amazing village I have around me.
- Be honest in terms of what I really want – To work part-time in a senior corporate role and to have my own coaching practice. It is possible to have what you want. We often put barriers in our own mind as to what we can ask and aim for.
- Feel less guilt around the balance – I have reframed my thinking around striving for balance and embracing blend. Every week is different and the blend will be different. Some weeks work takes more of my focus and other weeks it’s my family. I therefore focus on a healthy echo system that works for me and my family.
- Tap into my superpowers – I focus collectively on the value I bring to my work, coaching skills, a fresh perspective, the energy I put in v focusing on volume of work and the hours each day/week.
- Nourish myself – Make time for me each week, block it in the diary and protect it. This is often a coffee on my own or a long walk. This allows me to top-up my own energy levels.
If any of the above resonates with you I would encourage you to reflect upon these three questions:
1. What patterns no longer serve you in your life?
2. Which one small step could you take today towards changing this pattern?
3. What support do you need to make this happen?
Please get in touch. Don’t let your patterns hold you back, I am here to help.
Warm wishes
Charlotte
