“You are not clever enough Charlotte” “You think too much” How I dialled down my inner critic.

“You are not clever enough, Charlotte” “You think too much” “People think you are too fiery” …… How I dialled down my inner critic.

There is a dominant theme I speak to women about: letting go of self-doubt and making peace with being enough.

My inner critic created judgement, disapproval, and fear. Causing overwhelm, little joy and stress.

I want to let you into a little secret. We don’t have just one internal commentator. We have a few. Our most powerful is our nurturing internal mentor. It may be hidden and often has a quieter voice due to social conditioning. However, when dialled up it is our cheerleader that believes in us, knows we are doing our best and celebrates our unique qualities.

So how did I dial down my inner critic and embrace the internal mentor? Experiment with some tools below:

1.       You are not your thoughts

·       Your inner critic is not you.

·       When you hear the negative voice in your head, remind yourself that you have a choice of whether to listen.

2.       Empathise before criticising

·       Give yourself permission for self-compassion.

·       When the inner critic shows up, ask yourself would you ever talk to somebody you love in this way? So why are you letting the inner critic talk to you in this way?

3.       Celebrate and recognise what you are achieving

·       Pause and reflect what have you achieved today. It doesn’t matter how small.

·       What would you celebrate if you reflected on the last year. I am sure it is quite a bit!

If your inner critic is a disruptive presence in your life and you would like to tune into and embrace your nurturing mentor, please get in touch.

Warm thoughts

Charlotte

P.S. If this was not reason enough to tame your inner critic, by fostering compassion for ourselves we are often more readily able to feel it for other people. So our kinder, calmer, more empathic self-radiates outwards.